The basket case is back

Last night as I was hopping on my bike to ride while watching the Heat vs. Spurs my husband reminded me that I haven't blogged in weeks. And then I had to spill the mental beans. I've had great training since January and then somewhere mid May, the wheels fell off. Let me explain...

Because every blog needs pics, our late May vacation to D.C.

George Washington. I point to him cause he's the man. Or was anyway. 

It's summer time, it's nice outside and some days I want to be active but I feel like I'm married to my training schedule. Like it's work. Yes, training for an Ironman is a complex labor of love but lately I've just been resenting it. I'm putting in all the hours and doing everything I'm supposed to like clockwork but when I'm in the water, sometimes all I can think about is that I wish I were paddle boarding instead of swimming freestyle around some boat buoys in a lake. When I'm out on my bike I wish that I could take my kids along or take my boys riding Cyclocross. They're old enough now where they can come along and they can have bikes like mine. Yesterday when I left for my long ride, the boys were out in the yard seeing me off and the last words out of their mouths were "hurry back so we can play frisbee". For 30 miles, all I wanted to do was play frisbee in the yard. So, I broke my bike up into segments yesterday. Not ideal but they all went really well so all signs point to me being where I need to be. I had a 10 mile run on Saturday morning, was the fastest 10 I've run in a long time. Had a 3000 yard swim that afternoon. Felt easy.

My swim angel Andrea who helps me learn to love the big green monster we swim in. 

Then, to make matters worse, when I went for my first open swim practice of the year 2 weeks ago, it was a disaster. I AM, the person who hates looking down into the abyss. I do it, but I don't like it. When I say I don't like it, I mean, it can take me 5 - 10 minutes to decide that I'm going to actually swim. Once I start swimming, I'm fine but getting started is a real operation. Now, once I get swimming, I'll swim all afternoon but I have a real hang up getting started. Do I need a swim psychologist? Probably. Can I afford one? Nope. So, until then, I'll continue to be a pansy in the water. It pisses me off that I can be fast in the pool yet slow in open water. I'm not afraid of drowning, I'm not afraid of sea monsters. Your guess is as good as mine.

So, in a nutshell, I'm currently Ironman fit but am hating / "meh" about training. What I want is to take a six pack of Bud Light out onto a paddle board and listen to some tunes while watching the day go by. Maybe I'll snap out of it, maybe I won't. Worst part is that I don't care either way. Sad right?

My last long ride, 2 weeks ago. It's odd to ride so many miles from home and then realize, I have to ride all the way back! Can you tell I love my bike? The best choice I've made this year was to stick with my road bike and ditch the tri bike. 

Next Saturday I have a century ride that goes around the back roads of KY. I'm super excited about it. It's something I've been looking forward to all year. Something I actually WANT to do.

Have you ever just went all negative on your training?? 

When the beating of your heart, echos the beating of the drums....

This weekend was jam packed. JAM PACKED I say (in my best Yosemite Sam voice). Somehow, I had to get a whole lot of bike riding and running squeezed into a tight schedule. I kinda made it happen.

I decided to bump my long bike ride back to Friday night so as soon as I got off work, I rolled out of my driveway. Made it 50 miles before the rain set in. I had my best average yet but I hammered the heavy hills (and there are tons of them) so to ride at 17 mph was a big confidence boost on roads like that. 

Saturday was 8th grade dance day so that means hair, nails and just spending time being fabulous and then turning my car into a shuttle. I had a break around 2pm so decided I would squeeze in 6 miles. It wasn't the 12 I was suppose to do but it's all I had time for. Not to mention it was bloody hot. It was 80 out with 187% humidity. There was a steady stream of sweat flowing off the tips of my elbows a half mile in. Stopped once at a gas station to ask for ice. I was baking! So happy that was out of the way. 

Anyway, after the dance, I picked her up, we went to Dairy Queen, split a blizzard and headed home to get some sleep and prepare for the next days even BETTER activity....

Les Miserable, traveling Broadway show in Columbus, OH.

The view from our seats. Semi theater nosebleed.

I worried that maybe we were too far back but ended up having a pretty good spot. 

One of my favorite parts of the show! 

So after the show, I started wondering if it would be possible for us to maybe meet some of the actors? My oldest was so thrilled with the show, I thought maybe I would just ask, so we walk down to the front of the stage and there was a guy wearing a bunch of cords (as all important people do) and I asked if maybe we could see Jean Valjean, the main guy? He says that if we slip out the side door behind him that maybe we could find him. 

Not only did we find him but where you will find one, you will find ALL the others as well!! I couldn't believe our luck! There wasn't a big line of people waiting, just a handful and we were able to talk and visit and hang out. 

Recognize the woman with the red hair from the picture above?

The guy on the right is the bishop who gives Jean the silver candlesticks. 

"Javert". The guy played by Russell Crowe in the movie. He may hate Valjean but he seems to love the Chargers. Talk about such a nice guy to meet.

Jean Valjean played by Peter Lockyer. 

His performance was incredible. I don't think Hugh Jackman even comes close. I was shocked at how young he was when we met. I don't know why I expected him to be older but ummm, he's my age. 

**On a side note, I asked him if he wanted to touch my sexy cycling quads and he said yes. Ok, that's a lie but I wanted to ask. 

Have you ever stuck around and wound up with a cool surprise like this? 

Heading North for Broadway

This weekend I'll leave my crazy training ways behind on Sunday to drive north to take my oldest daughter to go see the Broadway North American tour of Les Miserable. It's about three hours to Columbus, OH from our house but I drive to Indy at times and it's about the same distance so even though it's a long way, it's still the closest to our house, plus, it's her birthday present!

Back when the movie came out at the theater, I took her to go see it, not really knowing what to expect. The last time I had seen Les Mis was in London in 1994, and to be honest, I couldn't really remember much of what happened. I drank a lot that summer but I was also 18 years old as well. I was shocked that by the end of the movie she's was wiping away tears with the cuff of her sweatshirt. She downloaded the soundtrack off of ITunes and the rest has been history. It's still all she talks about sooooooo, I'm hoping she'll love the actual Broadway show as much.

Today is swim and run day. Thunderstorms are on the way so it might just be a run day. We'll see. I'm actually kinda tired for some reason. Yesterday was bike and run. My training feels so impersonal sometimes, I'm just ticking off boxes. Is it ok for me to say that I really don't feel like running today? It's only 6 miles but they feel really annoying to me right now. Since I'll be in Ohio Sunday, I have to move my 4.5 hour bike to tomorrow night. It's suppose to thunderstorm as well but I tell you here and now that I WILL NOT ride my trainer for 4.5 hours. I'll drag my ass out in a driving rain before I sit in my living room and pedal in place. I rode the trainer for the first time in a month yesterday and wanted to poke my eyes out. I watched over half of Sherlock Holmes (R Downey version) but I've become to use to riding outside now that inside just makes me stir crazy.

Have you seen a live Broadway show?? Which one? 

I saw Miss Saigon in London in a theater that had no air conditioning in July and I can still remember the helicopter landing on stage. I loved that one and Cats. Cats will always be my favorite. 

I think they might make me sick...

So, before I go into a post that has nothing to do with working out, let me just let everyone know that is anxiously awaiting my workout news, that yes, training is going well. I have officially renamed Tuesday's "Olympic Tuesday" because my workout calls for what  would normally be an Olympic distance triathlon for me, only I normally have to swim a little farther than 1650 yards.

Sunday evening kick ball game

Yesterday after I picked the boys up from school I just took them to the pool with me. It's a win-win, they play basketball at the Y, then every 10 minutes come running down to the very edge of the pool to ask the ever popular question "are you done yet mom?" I realized that sending them off in 15 minute increments was what it took. "When the clock says 4:15, you return to me, then I'll get out". It's not sexy but it's how I get my workouts in... ANY WAY I CAN.

So, by the time we left, I had enough time to take the car to get it vacuumed out while the boys chucked the trash and pulled the floor mats out (child labor / outsourcing at it's finest), and then headed home in time to get a 6 mile run in before I had to take a shower and take my oldest to her final band concert of the year.

My beautiful teenager who would shoot me if she knew I posted this. 

Anyway, I climbed into the bleachers with the other parents and I noticed that there was this older lady to my right who was coughing...a lot. Then, not a minute later, someone to my left, some guy was coughing. All I could focus on was their hacking. THEN, two other people started sneezing. My brain immediately began doing quick math on what happens when I too get sick with this form of TB and am out of training for a week, maybe two? I finally climbed out of the "Contagion Zone" and down onto the side where I could just stand up and watch. Maybe I was overreacting? Seriously though, have you ever came upon time where you were close to a big race and found yourself surrounded by sick people? 

Has racing and training come to this? Am I officially a coughaphobe? 

Anyway, after the concert we went to this local burger joint to get some dinner before we headed home. Just us two girls. It's a really great spot for food in small town America. So, we walk in and my daughter recognizes one of her teachers who is chef'ing dinner for us. It's his other part time job from being a teacher. Fun fact...he was also a Denver Bronco. Yep, a second round draft pick who played with John Elway on the team that played in the Super Bowl back in the 80's. Crazy isn't it? Anyway, as some of you know, I LOVE NFL FOOTBALL, so as you can imagine, as he's saying hi to my daughter, I have a mental tally of about 25 pressing questions about his career. I kick it off with 2 or 3 and I start getting a finger in my obliques from my child saying that maybe I should just relax a little. 

I will now be stalking the burger joint more often to finalize my need to know what it was like being a wide receiver in the NFL. 

The bike hangover

I can't believe an entire week has gone by since my 70.3. I thought I was going to be dead after the race but I wasn't. I took 2 days off and was back at it on Wednesday. I'm trying to think of the bad part of bouncing back so quickly but I haven't been able to locate it yet.

I think I'm going through a bout of post traumatic stress swim syndrome. I still have these flashback of slipping into cold water, drifting along, not able to catch my breath or see where the hell I'm going in the middle of a river for all the rainfall. I know what I need to do to fix it, just a matter of getting back out into a lake and swimming more.

I did a four hour bike outside yesterday in some crazy wind with some serious hills and I was no worse for wear at the end. In fact, I felt great, like running would be no problem. I feel exactly where I need to be. Biking good, check. Running good, check. Swimming, totally f'd up, check. I realized after watching Iron Man 3 over the weekend that I'm having water anxiety attacks. You'll have to see the movie..... but basically, when I get in and hear a horn, I feel completely overwhelmed. It's a strange feeling to have completed the task of open water swimming so many times, yet still have anxiety over it. Plus, I think the wet suit just makes it worse. Damn thing makes me feel like I'm swimming in a straight jacket. I'll stop complaining now. Why is it that most people worry over fitness level, yet here I am worrying about my brain? So stupid.

The littlest child running down to open the gate for me. 

Anyway, the weekend was great. Finished the long run, long swim, long bike. The weather is beautiful here most of the time these days and the boys want me to play with them non-stop. It's kickball. Kickball and more kickball. Ok, maybe some baseball but it's never ending. I love it but I feel guilty for being away from them. On top of that, they want me to go ride bikes with them as well ALL THE TIME! So, as soon as my bike ride is over, I go for another bike ride with them. No wonder I'm feeling no pain, I live on my bike.

Stopping to pet horses on our bike ride last night. The one on the left is now named "hair ball". 

Right back at it..

Life post 70.3 Rev3 has been pretty fun. I took off Monday and Tuesday and although I thought I was going to rest up, I ended up spending my afternoons playing endless games of kickball with the boys and cleaning up a house that I've managed to neglect. Only until I'm completely off, do I realize how much I'm actually gone. It's not a lot in the big picture but to me it feels like a lot. Only four more month and then they get their mother back. 

I've also had tons of time to think about what the hell happened on race day. It was crazy for all of us. The swim was a disaster. I just haven't had enough experience swimming in frigid temps and it showed. I swam as strong as I could but I need more open water swims between now and Wisconsin to calm my nerves. That's on the to-do list. I had plenty of open water swims last year but maybe something got lost between then and now. Who knows. Maybe it was just the cold water I hated. After all, I never panicked, just was wheezing like crazy. 

The bike was what it was. I rode the brakes on the downhills, I rode super conservatively and took my time. One wreck and my entire season could have been over. The best part is that I was happy and content for the entire ride. Legs felt good and even in the driving rain I was body warm and maintaining. The course was SUPER HILLY and I rode smart. I'm normally ride like a biker on the way to a leather convention but the fact that I managed to use my brain was a major plus. 

Possibly the best part was the run though. I felt like I wanted to run, not like I had to. I felt strong and when I got to mile 8, I was all like "I love this shit". Last year when I did 70.3 Steelhead, I walked into a porta potty at mile 8 and actually considered never coming out. I also suffered from the worst IT Band pain I've ever had at Steelhead last year and not once did it rub on Sunday. Last year when I finished I was exhausted, Sunday I wasn't. For me, even though the race was a bust time-wise, it was a big indicator of where I'm at physically and mentally. 

So yesterday was back in the saddle. No rest for the weary. Right now, I'm working on piecing together new connecting roads that'll make my route just a little bigger. I'm loving riding outside. It was kinda hilarious yesterday because I could see all this rain in different spots on my route and I totally didn't care after what had happened on Sunday. Let it rain. I eat thunderstorms for breakfast. 

Ironman Wisconsin....here I come. 

Rev3 Knoxville (Bike and Run)

Get me out of the wet suit / straight jacket

Once I had made it back into the parking garage to my bike from the swim, I pretty much felt like I could have scaled the side of Mt. Everest on a scooter with little to no problem. There were other women around me sitting down, putting on their shoes, talking about what a crazy swim they had just had. I must say, dry socks and dry bike shoes never felt so good. I put my Buff headband on and pulled it down over my ears and then slipped my bike helmet on overtop. I took time making sure that I had everything I needed and headed back out into the rain.

Ambulance. Just the kinda day it was out there.

At this point I knew that "racing" wasn't what was on the days agenda. The roads were so slick, the rain was so cold, blowing and stinging the hell out of my arms once I started riding. The day before two women were hospitalized after they had slid on a set of tracks and crashed. The volunteers and especially my husband was yelling at me to go slow, ride safely. I completely forgot about wearing my watch so once I got out on the roads I decided that I would just ride and find the happy place that I'm in while coasting past my horse farms during my weekly rides. I love being on my bike and soon got into the rhythm of singing all my favorite Justin Timberlake songs to myself. I had trouble remembering all the words to "Mirrors" so I just hopped over to "Suit and Tie" which is a little more fun to sing, I mean, it's like on every 3rd song these days right? This is my gig though. Some races it's Jay-Z, sometimes Coldplay. I'm shocked at how singing makes the time fly.

Up, up and on our way out for 56 miles.

I figured I was riding about 15 mph, meh, that was good enough. First stop, mile 17 (I think) maybe 15 or less. I had to pee sooooooo bad. I couldn't bring myself to pee on my bike. It was a pretty big aid station, plenty of volunteers and was the first of my bike "encounters". Let me explain.... I pull up, hop off my bike and three volunteers come walking over to me and ask "are you ok miss, are you ok?" I'm like "yeah, I just gotta pee reallllly bad, will you hold my bike?" I have never stopped in a race while on my bike. That river was witchcraft on my bladder. Once I got in the porta potty, the bigger picture started to come together. During those first miles, I saw two people off on the side of the road shaking. Violently shaking. Hmmm, I thought. That was nice of them to ask me if I was ok. I open the door to the porta potty and there is a fire truck right in front of me. The woman on the passenger side hops out and says "miss, are you ok? Do you have hypothermia?" I give her a quizzical brow and reply "mmmm, no, but about 5 miles back there looked like there was a guy shaking really bad but a cop had pulled up and was helping him. We have a brief conversation and I began to realize that if the water wasn't bad enough, the cold rain was taking more people off this course. I was beat down wet but thankfully I was ok. Not great but the Justin Timberlake songs were still flowing like rain drops off the front of my helmet. The more miles that wore on, the harder and steeper the hills were. I didn't pound up and down them like I normally would, I just geared down, stayed seated and rode on. The rain would sometimes let up and other times it would sting my eyes so bad that I would just squint and hold my head down, hope for the best, etc.

Around mile 30 I thought "ok, enough of this shit". But then I would eat and drink and lick the sat sticks out of my bento box to help the time pass. "And as long as I got my suit n tie, I'ma leave it all on the floor tonight..." Yes, the salt sticks had dissolved, they taste way different when out of their capsules hahahaha. Mile 40, I had to pee again really bad. And just like that, a porta potty presents itself in front of a church. Thank you Jesus. Those last 17 miles were gravy. I passed even more people who were sick and shaking but they were making it and that spoke volumes. We were all just kinda getting by. I think I counted over 10 bikes that had been abandoned on the course, leaned up against cop cars. I considered myself lucky. After what seemed like an eternity, I coasted back into the garage. Racked my bike and was never so happy to find my way into dry shoes and dry socks and a fresh hat!

The bike took very little out of me. I felt like I had tons of energy for more miles when I was done. There is a really steep climb with only a few miles left and I just motored right up in good fashion. After all though, I had no idea how fast I had been riding the entire time and it came to be much slower than what I normally do my regular training rides at, so no wonder I felt ready to put together an entire store of Ikea furniture when I was done. This was the the first bright spot at the end of a f'd up day.

The survivors smile.

Bike: 56 miles - 3:51
(slowest by 51 minutes)
I give myself a 15 minute exemption for car traffic and the first rest stop that was odd.

The run...

My oldest child giving me a pep talk.

I took off running out of the parking garage. I felt AWESOME! The best I have ever felt at any time ever after a swim and a bike. As the day was going along, I was getting stronger! I was running with two guys that were doing low 9 to high 8 minutes miles. My breathing felt great, I felt good but knew realistically that I couldn't hold that pace for 13 miles after the day I had had and especially on this hilly of a course. So, I scaled back a little and reigned it in. About 2 miles into the run, somewhere around then, I came across my first water crossing. That's correct, water crossing. The run course was along a creek that was flooding from all the rain from the past two days. The first few crossings only went up over our ankles but the runners who were on their way back were laughing, telling us to "just wait till you see what's ahead!" Whatevvv's fast runners. Whatevv's I thought. About a mile later, here I was, walking through water that was up to my knees.

Sorry, can't stop for autographs, I have running to do.

Yeah, it wasn't one or two spots, it was multiple spots of high, rushing water crossings. I spent plenty of time wondering about what sort of blister fun I would have when I finally finished. It actually was kinda fun. My second issue was that I had drank too much on the bike. I had to pee 5 times during the 13 miles. 5 TIMES! I would get in such a good rhythm and then it was as if I had just put back 3 Bud Lights a half hour earlier. I didn't want to pee in my tri suit either because I had just bought it. Can't be ruining that.

I would cross water, run strong, GU, speed walk up a hill, run the flats and downhills, run some of the uphills. Plus, the volunteers were amazing. I never saw one that didn't have a big smile on their face. I ate some pretzels, learned to love vanilla PowerGel, even Gatorade jived with me.

On my final mile, it took me back through the workings of where transition and the swim were. Tons of people had already finished and were cheering me on as I ran back in. I loved it so much. I made one last rally and ran my tail off back into the finish, picking up my kids along the way.

The final rally with the kiddos

The FINISH! The freaking finish was so sweet. I was greeted by so many volunteers who wrapped me in foil blankets, handed me hot chicken broth, inquired about my health and actually helped me pick out the correct FINISHER shirt size that would look good on me!!!! Can you believe it!? I wasn't told what I size I would have to take, I had shirts held up to me and two women talking me through the best size for me. It brought tears to me eyes. I felt like a million wet dollars.

Run Time: 2:26
(That's including 5 bathrooms breaks and at least 5 water crossings).
That's a Half Iron PR for me. My splits were actually getting faster at the end of the race.

Final time: 7:33 (personal worst by over an hour).
I am so proud of my finish. I had no quit in me. Zero. I cried in the car on the way home while eating a Jr. bacon cheeseburger from Wendy's. The day was so much to inhale. Only after it was all said and done was I able to kinda digest it all.

After looking back at the results, I finished 11th out of 17 in my age group. I was actually the last finisher, with 6 behind me DNF'ing in my age group, some taken away by ambulance. You'll never hear me say it again but last never felt so good. So humbling but as are most life's hard learned lessons.